The past couple of days have been really really heavy, especially since I got back from Singapore. There, another reason why I prefer Singapore to KL even though people say that it's just coincidence, timing and bad luck. Yeah, right.
The following are events/people who have intensified the desire to put my fingers in my eyes and swirl them around because even that would feel better and be a truckload more fun:
Our little self-proclaimed gangster dipshit here, decided to steal Sam's dad's car from the workshop it was in while we were all in Singapore, to take it for a joyride. Oh wait, it wasn't even a joyride, because he had it for 4 whole days, then dumped it in some alley in KL the night before Sam's family got back. He was also going at 260 (he brags), on the Green Label that WE gave him for his birthday (I reckon to rub it in our faces). He's completely fucked the car, and there's more, he thinks we're nobodies that have nobody so he can get away with it (he said so).
That's just what he did to my boyfriend. Here's what he did to my brother:
Let me start with his empty promises. On the night of 11th June, a Wednesday, we took him out for his birthday. Now, he was in a shitty mood because daddy basically told him to die and go to hell, but maybe even all that was an act. So, Uthzz got dinner at the Selangor Club, we gave him the Green Label (wasn't exactly cheap, but then again maybe that's because his life is worth so much less). Then, we headed to Velvet, where I got him along with his girlfriend and another stupid wannabe friend in for free, took out an unfinished bottle of Black Label, got people to split another 2 jugs of Long Island Tea, and on top of that my brother's friend from the UK had just come in and opened 2 bottles of Absolut Vodka and Bacardi. As he drank, he PRETENDED to get high, and eventually drunk, so he could get his girlfriend who he
told me he didn't like, whom he 'just wanted to play around with', to go home with him for a fuck. I only found out about this much later. Anyway, while he was 'drunk', I took his Diazepan away because I cared and didn't want him to mix alcohol with pills. He freaked out, started
BAWLING and WHINING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL about his daddy and how he couldn't sleep without the pills. Way to get your girlfriend into bed huh, just let the tears flow you pussy. Anyhow, magically, in steps concerned girlfriend, and i guess he did get laid. He didn't even take his pills back with him that night. Oh I forgot to mention the promise. The wuss came up to me halfway through the night and said rather loudly that I was his sister and no matter what, he would sort out my brother's thing for me. What a lie.
Now, back to my brother. An asshole called Tim crashed his car, wouldn't give him money for it, so I asked Uthzz and the lil' bastard to help. Uthzz was leaving to Australia soon and was really busy and that's the only reason why Farhan had to be so involved. I shan't elaborate the deets, but the gist of it is, the Fucktard took as much money as he gave my brother, which amounts to up to 3k or more. We all expected him to get a cut, but this is ridiculous. He was collecting money without telling my brother and pocketing all of it. And he still claimed that he didn't have money because he would spend it all in one hit. Like what, you ask. Well, like taking out my boyfriend's dad's supra from the mechanic by conning him and acting as a runner.
Well, Farhan, if you ever read this, remember when we were at Sky Bar and you said that none of your friends treat you with respect even though you'd do anything for them? That you value your friends above your family? That even Uthzz, who is always there for you, wouldn't really go all out for you? That's the only reason I even started being genuinely nice to you. WE have always been nice to you, WE never did anything to you, or anything to deserve this. Sam and I have always paid for you without question because you were always broke, we've gotten you places, tried to make sure you do well in school, fed you, included you almost everytime we went out and most of all, we, especially I, have defended you against everyone who said shit about you, or had a bad feeling about you because I treated you as my friend. WE were the only people who didn't fuck you over like you have complained about everyone we both know. Yet you decided to bite the hand that feeds. I guess with you it's fuck or be fucked. I should have known. No wonder no one cares about and respects you for you. No wonder you are such a try-hard. No wonder you don't have an education that substantiates to anything, and you never will. No wonder you couldn't even do the simplest English assignments where all you had to do is write about your feelings. You have none. No wonder you had to beg Shamal to do your Econs assignment for you. It's not because you don't care like you try so hard make the world believe, it's because you genuinely are stupid. I used to think you had half a brain, but anyone who does this to the only people who gave and expected nothing in return is a real moron. And you, Farhan, are a Fucking Retard.
I feel bad for your mother. I hear she is very sick as it is, yet you use her sickness as an means to gain sympathy from others, and on top of all that the only thing she is going to get out of her only son is more emotional pain. You really should treat her better, because I simply cannot see any other sane woman or person ever standing up for you like she does. I can see why Daddy doesn't care, why he said you were a 'no good bastard of a son' (by the way, since you are such a fucktard, let me explain to you what a bastard is. It is an illegitimate child. Yes, that's right, this came from your own father), and why he said he wished you would just take your stupid wannabe WMC 6006 Waja on your 21st Birthday and just go ahead and crashed and died in it. I now understand, but you know what? I'm not your father or your mother, and I'm not that nice.
You don't even deserve to die. Such an easy end is too good for a piece of shit like you. I hope you live a long long life so that you experience the karma and retribution that is to come. Because for as long as you have taken away things that other people love, I believe that the things you love in life will one day be taken from you. I believe that your hurt and pain will come, and when it does you better be praying like the good Muslim you pretend to be in front of cops, your parents, and whoever you can use it to your benefit because it's going to be worse than the pain and hurt you have caused to everyone in this world, not just us. You truly are a disgusting human being. So live on, you cunt.
He is the older brother, yet I feel like the older sister.
He would rather let his younger sister starve than not pick up his airhead of a girlfriend from the airport. Mind you, he never mentioned that he was going to go out when I said that mom wasn't cooking. If he did, I would have asked to go out earlier. But no, he had to mention last minute, just before he had to pick her up. This isn't even the first time he's let me down because of her. I can't even count them.
Petrol prices have recently gone up a lot. He takes my dad's car out to pick her up from the airport. He lied about picking her up from the train station, which is much nearer = less petrol cost. The airport is very far, and he's not paying for petrol because he can't. He doesn't have a job and thus doesn't have any money. He won't ask her to pay for petrol. She won't offer.
He bugs my dad to pay for HER plane ticket to Bali using MY DAD'S credit card. Why? Because SHE doesn't have a credit card. Why doesn't she just buy it in person at a station? Because there was no time. Sure. Do her parents not have a credit card? She's not poor, I've seen her new house, it's not small. So why? He says 'whatever', claims I'm throwing a tantrum and won't let me speak to her on the phone to ask her to pay back on the agreed date. I don't even know if she's paid yet.
He tells her that he will pay for her hotel accomodation in Bali, because he had borrowed some money from her prior to that. But he doesn't have the money on hand, and is expecting to get it from Farhan when he collects it from Tim. Farhan fucks up, he doesn't get money. He complains she will be stuck in Bali. He is stressed and does a lot of heavy sighing. But what was the REAL idiotic promise that was made?
Yes, he got to know Farhan through me, because I asked him to help. Farhan is a FUCK, but, I always said, do not trust him. He will try to milk you as much as he can. Be polite, but not soft. And, I only asked for help from him because for more than 2 months he wasn't even seeing a single cent from Tim. Yes, Farhan is a fucking asshole, and he took half the money, but at least he saw the other half. I'm not justifying what Farhan did by any means. I hate his guts. However, my brother was able to settle some bills AND take his ho out using the money he did see. So don't tell me that it didn't help at all. If I had left it he still wouldn't have seen a dime from Tim even by now. The money collected was supposed to be for his car anyway, not his mountain of bills, nor his girlfriend.
Once I found out about Farhan, I warned him. He did not listen, but seemed to want to stick with Farhan. A few people will back me up on this. True enough, he lost more money. HE DID NOT LISTEN TO WHAT I AND EVERYONE WHO KNEW FARHAN WAS SAYING TO HIM. Yet I still helped him after that because he is my brother and I hate to see him so stressed. So I stay up till 430 in the morning to sort this out, and I seem to have been able to get help from some better people who weren't around earlier when I asked Farhan for help. I wake him right after to tell him about all that I have tried to do, but all I get is more complaints. No gratitude, nothing. I don't need to be worshipped but a simple thanks would be nice, so that at least I know that my efforts are appreciated. Nothing. The only time he said 'thank you' was when we were arguing once, where he said,
"Thank you for your help Jennifer, but your constant questioning is really stressing me out. I can handle this myself."
I questioned him about the slow process of him getting a job. He can handle? Hah. But this was, of course, said after he started seeing some money.
You're welcome, gorr. I wash my hands off this whole thing. There's a lot more, but I really can't even be bothered to mention it here. I only have 4 words left to say.
"Get a Fucking Job."
When will the arguing stop, seriously. If they are so unhappy together, then live apart. Silent rage isn't good for anyone, either.
- Cancelling the Anticipated Trip to Kuching
Yep,the trip's off. I told my parents it's because of the Uni visa application process dragging. But really, it's about my dad not getting along with Sam, and mom deciding that she won't go to Kuching. This meant that Sam and dad would be stuck in a house together without mom as a buffer, meeting a shitload of my aunts, uncles and cousins all at the same time. Very intense.
Given what's happened with the car, as well as some other stuff, Sam doesn't think, and I don't either, that he could get through the week without some kind of altercation with my dad, potentially.
And really, I should probably start the application process, which brings me to my next point.
- University of Minnesota being a Real Biatch
I know it's a huge school and all, but seriously, this is ridiculous. I'm meant to be there in less than a month and I still haven't received my I20 student visa application form. Loads of schools begin classes in August = long line at US embassy for visa interviews = I might not make it in time.
I don't mind going to Oregon, and my dad doesn't mind either, but my mom and sister think MN is still the better choice since it's higher ranked, and my family is obsessed with rank and status of universities. By that I mean my mom's side. Cambridge, Oxford, University of Melborne, Boston U, RMIT, UC Berkeley..I don't know shit about my dad's side. However, MN is noctorious for being really slow to respond. And Mark, my sister's husband who's from there, said that they would be ranked so much higher if they would just remember who their client is.
Being house mates with So Young again in MN would be really awesome...
Secretly though, I'm starting to want them to send it real late, so I can just go to Oregon in peace with Sam, while blaming the system. ;p
That which has kept me up, and even now, is what's keeping me from sleeping. And everywhere I go I am reminded. I'm not ready to talk yet, simply because I have not come to terms with it. It's not over.
Maybe
tomorrow will be a better...for a long time.
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clowdsonastik's journal
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